That's a question that I've been asking myself a lot lately.
During the past few weeks I've been faced with a lot of questions about my future.
The number of times I've been asked the question ' So what do you want to do when you graduate' in the past month is alarming. Alarming because I have no idea.
Lately my life has assumed an extremely regular pattern: School, work, study, overdose on caffeine, sleep and repeat. Sure, I mix other interests into my week as much as I can but I feel like my life is kind of like a sprint on loop- I'm always out of breath, but the race doesn't seem to end and no matter how much I want to, I can't stop or I'll get left behind.
In our parents generation, money, education and career success were the most meaningful parts of life. But it seems like for our generation its not enough - we all want more: marriages that last, jobs that bring satisfaction, lives that are exciting.
Sometimes I wonder if this is selfish - if we should be satisfied with having what our parents wanted and if shouldn't try to have it all.
But as the time before graduation slowly gets shorter - I need to start making some hard decisions. Do I follow the dreams for my life that I've had ever since I can remember - the dreams that maybe aren't my own but are my parents, and teachers and family's goals for my life? Or do I find my own dream? And how do I even know what I want?
I find that a lot of times we put so much distance between ourselves and what we want because we're afraid that once we get closer it won't be as good as we'd hoped - or worse that we won't be able to make it work.
There's a quote from Good Will Hunting that I really liked - it's when Will (Matt Damon) is talking to Sean (Robin Williams) about Skylar (the girl he liked)
Will: ... but this girl is like, you know, beautiful. She's smart. She's funny. She's different from most of the girls I've been with.
Sean: So, call her up, Romeo.
Will: Why? So I can realize she's not that smart, that she's boring? You know? I mean...this girl is like perfect right now, I don't want to ruin that.
Sean: Maybe you're perfect right now. Maybe you don't want to ruin that. I think that's a super philosophy, Will, that way you can go through your entire life without ever having to really know anybody...
Maybe it's not a perfect connection to what I'm talking about but I think that sometimes everyone's like Will - we have this ideal picture of something that we want: whether it's a career, a hobby, a guy (or girl)... and we're afraid to get close because either it won't measure up to the perfect picture in our head or somehow our own imperfection will mess things up.
I'm definitely guilty of living like that and I think it's a terrible way to live - because if we always play it safe we're going to wake up some day and we'll realize that we lost 10 years of our life to a routine.
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I remember hearing about two basic strategies for approaching an endeavor: optimizing and satisficing. Do we strive for the absolute best possible regardless of the resources required to attain it? Or do we have a 'good enough' threshold that, once we find something that meet it, we stop.
ReplyDeleteSurely the appropriate strategy will depend on the circumstances, the goal, and an individual's values - but exactly how? When should we optimize and when should we pick a standard and go for a satisficing strategy?
An example of when satisficing is clearly right: I need shampoo. The amount of time figuring out exactly which shampoo is best out of the 50 or so on the shelf is not worth the payoff of saving me equivalent of $2 or whatever. I just randomly pick a likely candidate and go.
What's tricky is that a lot of the time our situation is dynamic - the answer might be 'X is good enough FOR NOW, and I should reevaluate as I get more information.' I feel a little bit that way about school - it's one of various possible options that's working out well enough for now, given I don't have enough information to know another course of action would better optimize. So the distinction between the strategies breaks down a little - I want to optimize, but if I don't have enough information narrow down a unique optimal path, any of the multiple 'best' options will do (which starts to sound like satisficing with a high threshold).
How do I go about trying to figure out "What should I be doing?"
(1) reflect on my goals and values
(2) make a list of my apparent options
(3) research further options (often just talking to people)
(4) narrow down the list to the few that feel like the best candidates
(5) weigh the various features:
Anticipated utility of success (how much would I like it?),
Expected cost of pursuit (what does it take to go for it?),
Probability of a good outcome (is it a long shot kind of thing? is it a 'safe bet'?),
Quality of my assessment (how good is my Current information on the option?),
Cost of research (can I easily find out more about it?)
Commitment (can I back out if I end up not liking it or find a better option?)
(6) Try to pick a 'best' candidate. If multiple options remain, pick arbitrarily (it's okay, if you've really taken into account all the relevant features! Remember Buridan`s Ass)
Note: while this sounds like a super left brain rational way to go about it, if done properly, should take into account your gut feeling, emotions, etc. They should at least be factoring into your goals/values, anticipated utility of success, and probability of a good outcome. It's not like you're going to end up with precise numbers you can pump into a calculation, but you can at least do what you can to make sure you're not falling prey to your cognitive biases (e.g. those people who got mortgages that were nice in the short run, but screwed them in the long run) and just take into consideration the relevant things.